


Out of Sight

by Wheres_my_badger



Series: Found Family [6]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Anyways, Chan has separation anxiety, Chan!centric, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks, V CUTE, all of the boys are mentioned, and it's brief, as usual, but it's only one, but it's really subtle, but only Chan Woojin and Jisung really do anything, but that's not what I was aiming for, chan/jisung is entirely platonic, chan/woojin is romantic, could be read as platonic, v sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 09:56:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15683067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheres_my_badger/pseuds/Wheres_my_badger
Summary: Chan has separation anxiety. Minho and Felix's eliminations trigger it.





	Out of Sight

**Author's Note:**

> Story suggested by Lilmissrandom17! Thank you <33
> 
> I didn't proofread this, so there might be some mistakes, sorry >.<
> 
> Anyways, finally Chan's story! I'm not too sure about this one, but.... well, I hope you like it!
> 
> TG: description of a panic attack because of separation anxiety.

Chan had never told any of the members about his separation anxiety. It was an old problem, and something he had gotten over as he grew. It had taken him a while, sure. Longer than most kids. And a psychologist. But he had eventually grown out of it, and so he didn’t really think he needed to tell them about it.

When Chan was a kid, the problem was bad. His parents attempted to send him to pre-school three years in a row before they finally managed to, because as soon as they left, Chan started crying, and didn’t stop until he was with them again. They had been at a loss of what to do. Most kids grow out of their separation anxiety before two and a half years old. Four-year-old Chan didn’t even let his mother out of his sight inside the house. So Chan’s situation was unusual and a problem.

But after their second failed attempt of putting him in school, he had been taken to a psychologist, and slowly he’d made progress, and little by little he started to grow out of it. So, yeah. There was absolutely no need to tell anyone about it.

 

Chan watched as Minho walked out of the dorm, not looking at anyone as he carried his stuff outside. Jisung was crying quietly, and for once no one was teasing him for being a crybaby. Chan wanted to comfort the boy. He knew Jisung relied on him, and he knew the boy needed physical comfort at the moment. But he couldn’t move. He felt numb. The door closed behind Minho.

Chan turned around. Jisung had found shelter against Felix’s chest, and the Aussie boy was caressing his hair, giving Jisung what he needed. Chan was thankful. This meant he had time to digest the situation alone. He headed to his room.

Chan didn’t notice what was happening until it ended. As he took a shaky breath, too tired to wipe away the tears on his face, he counted how many years had passed since he’d last had a panic attack because of his separation anxiety. It had been eight years. Until that moment. He shook his head, sighing. It was a one-time thing. Nothing else. It wasn’t coming back, he had gotten over that already. An incident. Just like it had been eight years earlier. He got up and went looking for Jisung.

 

When Felix was eliminated, Chan saw it coming and made sure he locked himself away. He convinced himself that he wasn’t hiding it from the boys. He just knew they didn’t need to worry about their leader on top of everything that was happening. Changbin looked like a zombie and Jisung had destroyed more coats on the last few days than in the whole time Chan had known him. The others looked like they just wanted to sleep and never wake up again. They didn’t need a leader with such a childish problem as separation anxiety worrying them even more.

So he hid away and let the anxiety wash over him, and for a while he felt like nothing would ever be ok again. Once it was over, he didn’t have the strength to get up. Not that it made any difference. Minho was no longer with them, so the room was only Chan and Woojin’s. Since Woojin had been the one to pull Changbin aside to help the boy calm down, Chan was pretty sure the room would be his for the night. And with that bitter thought in mind, he fell asleep.

 

It was easy to convince himself that his last two crisis had been simply isolated incidents.

It wasn’t long before all of them were together again, and slowly things started getting better. Changbin came out to them about his problem with the dark. They found an alternative to Jisung’s biting habit. Jeongin had someone to look over him and tuck him in when he needed. And they had debuted. They were all happy, and all right next to Chan at any time.

So he told himself that everything was perfectly ok and continued on living his life as if he hadn’t had full break down when Minho and Felix had been taken away from him. As if he didn’t get anxious whenever he thought of them being out of his sight.

 

Except, of course things weren’t easy like that. Life did have this fun way of getting in the way of people’s plans and fucking them up. And that was exactly what happened.

Chan knew there was something wrong the moment he felt his breath pick up when Changbin left the room. It was stupid. The boy was only going to the bathroom. It was their break time; they weren’t supposed to stay all crowded inside the practice room during break time. They were supposed to go out and get something to drink and use the bathroom or whatever.

Chan shook his head, trying to relax. He knew where Changbin was. There was nothing to worry about. The boy wouldn’t leave, and JYP wouldn’t snatch him away in the middle of their promotions. He took a deep breath. The door opened and Changbin entered again, like Chan knew he would. But it didn’t stop him from letting out a sigh of relief.

‘This is nothing’, he told himself. ‘I’m just too stressed because of the promotions. He knew it was a lie. But Chan was a pro at lying to himself.

 

And he continued to lie as the days passed and he got more and more anxious whenever one of the boys was out of his sight.

There were different degrees to his anxiety. If they were away inside the house it was just a slightly faster than normal heartbeat. If it was at the company it was a much faster heartbeat and the continuous voice in his head saying ‘what if…?’. And if they were out around town it was all of that and sweating, which he passed off as a result of the weather being too hot although they’d just gotten out of winter.

It also depended on who it was that was away. If it was Jeongin, Seungmin and Hyunjin he worried less. Not because he liked them less, he just felt less protective of them because they had each other to protect them. Changbin and Woojin were a bit worse, but not much, because they were older, and his anxiety had more to do with what they meant to him than with feeling protective. And then there were Felix and Minho. Felix and Minho were the worst. Felix had disappeared on the streets once, and if he had stayed away for one more second Chan would have had a panic attack right then and there.

He didn’t stop to think that Jisung had never been out of his sight since this whole thing begun.

But Chan refused to admit it had come back. It didn’t make sense. Why would that stupid problem come back all of a sudden? He knew none of the boys would be taken away or leave him. It made no sense that he got anxious when they were away. And it annoyed him. He wasn’t a baby anymore, he could fully grasp the concepts of time and space, and he knew that they would always come back in the end. But that didn’t seem to be helping much.

 

Things came to a head on a normal day, just like the other ones they’d had so far after debuting. They had spent the day backstage at the music show, and as they entered the van to go home they were all tired and drained. Chan had taken about two minutes to fall asleep, his hand still on Jisung’s from when he’d pulled the boy to sit next to him in the van so he could suck on his pacifier peacefully.

Chan woke up to the sound of a door closing. He groggily opened his eyes, trying to remember where he was.

“Channie, hey, let’s go. We’re at the dorm.”

Chan rubbed his eyes and the face looking at him became more defined. Woojin. He stretched, and then tried to squeeze Jisung’s hand, and… and there was nothing there. Chan sat up in a second, looking around, eyes wide. The van was empty, save for him and Woojin.

Maybe if he hadn’t just woken up he would be able to calm down. Or if it had been one of the others missing, minus Felix and Minho. But that wasn’t the case. It was Jisung who was missing, and even though the other boys who had been in the van weren’t there anymore either, Chan could only focus on the fact that he didn’t know where Jisung was.

“Sung…”

He said, but it came out choked, because Chan could barely breathe. He felt as if there was a hand squeezing his throat and he was quickly becoming lightheaded and dizzy. He tried to stand up; he needed to find Jisung. Something stopped him and he tried to push whatever it was away, but he was too weak. He tried to stand up again, only to stumble and fall onto something that kept him upright.

There was an urgent voice speaking close to him, but he couldn’t make out whose voice it was or what it was saying. He could only focus on the fact that Jisung wasn’t there and that he couldn’t feel his arms and legs anymore, and…

“Sungie. Where…?”

He tried to say, noticing that not only he couldn't find Jisung, but he could barely see anything at all. The thing holding him upright was now supporting him more than holding onto him, and the voice was more urging now. And then…

“…ung. Chan hyung, please slow down. Please.”

The voice cut through the fog in his head. Chan turned around, and although his vision was blurry and he was wobbly, he could see Jisung standing there. He let out a sob and reached to the boy. Jisung hurried forward, and then he was in Chan’s arms, and Chan held him as tightly as he could.

“Sung…”

He tried to say, but it came out rough and low.

“Shh, don’t talk, hyung. Can you breathe with me?”

Chan couldn’t quite process what was happening, but he nodded. Slowly, he tried to copy Jisung’s breath. It took him about three minutes to manage to copy it correctly. By then, what had happened finally began to sink in.

As soon as he could feel his whole body again, he let go of Jisung. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. He couldn’t believe he’d had a panic attack because he couldn’t see one of his friends, and he couldn’t believe Woojin and Jisung had witnessed it. Out of all the members, it just had to be those two.

“Hyung, are you ok?”

Chan nodded, still not looking up. Jisung sounded so worried. Chan felt guilt settle on his stomach, burning like acid.

“I’m fine.”

He croaked out.

“Ok, we’re all tired and everything, so why don’t we go inside and discuss this tomorrow?”

Said Woojin. Chan would prefer not to discuss this at all. Never. But he could tell he wouldn’t have a choice. As it was, he sighed and nodded, finally looking up. Woojin and Jisung were looking at him with worried expressions. He hated it.

“Let’s just go.”

He said. He didn’t complain when Jisung took his hand and refused to let go.

 

Jisung had slept with him that night. Chan knew half of it was because he wanted to comfort Chan. But he had the feeling the other half was because he’d scared Jisung with his breakdown, and the younger needed to be with him as much as he needed to be with Jisung at the time being.

As it was, they woke up a complete mess, all tangled up on each other, and the fact that Jisung was still right there next to him made Chan relax a little bit. He ran a hand through Jisung’s hair, smiling at his cute little cheeks, puffed out because of the pacifier in his mouth.

“It’s really like he’s your kid, hyung.”

Chan looked up, a bit startled. Changbin was smiling at him from his bed. Chan rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, Binnie.”

Changbin just laughed and got up, ruffling Jisung’s hair on his way out. Chan forced himself to calm down as the boy left. The bathroom. He was probably going to the bathroom. He focused back on Jisung.

“Sungie, wake up. We need to go.”

Usually it took a while to wake Jisung up, but on that day that was enough. The boy opened his eyes.

“’an we ta’k now, ‘yung?”

He asked. Chan sighed.

 

Chan had managed to get out of explaining himself to Jisung by claiming they needed to eat first. And then they were surrounded by the others – all eager to eat breakfast – and Chan knew Jisung and Woojin wouldn’t bring it up in front of the rest of the group. He counted it as a win.

Until, of course, they were in the practice room, stretching, and Woojin sat next to him.

“Are you gonna tell me what that was yesterday or are you just going to use the others to keep me away?”

Chan flinched at the older’s words.

“I’m not…” Woojin’s glare made him swallow the rest of his sentence. “It was nothing. Just an accident. It won’t happen again.”

Woojin sighed.

“Channie, you completely freaked out. You had a panic attack because you couldn’t find Jisungie. And I have a feeling this isn’t the first time this has happened. C’mon, you can trust me. Please talk to me.”

Chan looked at the boy’s face. Woojin was looking at him with a sad expression, as if it hurt him to see Chan hurting. He sighed.

“Can we talk at home?”

 

Woojin probably talked to Jisung and bribed the boy with something, because as soon as they were home the younger approached Chan and said he hadn’t forgotten their talk before shoving him towards Woojin and walking away. Chan sighed. He looked at Woojin and nodded. The boy gently pulled him away.

“Can we leave the door open?”

He asked as they entered the older’s room and Woojin made to close the door. The boy tilted his head, confused.

“Sure. I just thought you’d want privacy.”

Chan shrugged.

“I feel better if I can hear them.”

He explained, with a bit of difficulty. Woojin didn’t answer; he simply opened the door again and sat down.

“Ok. Now explain.”

Chan sat down and before he lost the courage to, he started talking.

“There’s this thing called separation anxiety. Most little kids under two years old have it. It’s the reason they cry and throw tantrums when being separated from their parents. I… I used to have a bad case of separation anxiety. My mom couldn’t even move inside the house without me, because I got really distressed whenever I couldn’t see her.” Woojin didn’t say anything, letting Chan say everything he had to say before speaking up. “When my parents noticed it was getting out of hand, they took me to a psychologist. I went to therapy for quite some time, and I started to get better and better, until I got over it completely.”

Woojin frowned.

“And yesterday…?”

He prompted. Chan sighed.

“It wasn’t yesterday. I had two incidents recently, before last night. One when Minho went away. The other one with Lix. And… and since then I’ve been getting anxious whenever I can’t find someone, or when someone leaves. It’s stupid, I know. But I can’t help it.”

Woojin shook his head.

“Do you know what’s stupid? The fact that you kept that from us. Channie, you’re always the first to take care of others and reassure them that it’s ok for them to have problems and be different. Why can’t you do the same for yourself?”

Chan sighed. Woojin wasn’t even being rude. He was speaking softly, and he seemed like he was truly trying to understand it.

“I… it’s stupid. You guys don’t need a leader that has such a childish problem.”

Woojin sighed.

“Well, have fun telling that to Hyunjin about your childish problem. Or Innie. On Bin, Sungie, Seungmin...”

Chan cringed. He knew Woojin was right. All of the others had their own problems, and as childish as Chan’s separation anxiety was, the other boys were also dealing with their own embarrassment for their childish problems and habits.

“But I shouldn’t… I’m the leader. I’m the one you guys rely on.”

Woojin took Chan’s hand.

“Yeah, but you need someone to rely on, too. And we’re here for that. You need to trust us if you want us to trust you. Channie, we can see how hard you work and how much you care about us. No one will stop trusting you just because you have attachment issues.”

Chan sighed shakily, and then he noticed he was crying.

“S-sorry.”

He said, trying to wipe away the tears. Woojin stopped him and pulled Chan into a hug. Chan relaxed and let himself cry.

 

“Do you want to see a psychologist? I think it could help.”

Chan grimaced.

“But our schedule…”

One glare form Woojin shut him up.

“What did I say about your health, Chan?”

Chan blushed.

“It’s more important that anything else regarding our career as idols.” Woojin nodded, smiling proudly. Chan couldn’t help but to smile too. “I would like that, then.”

Woojin’s smile became impossibly bigger.

 

Chan didn’t have to tell the others about his problem, because Woojin did that for him – with his permission, of course. Through a whole day he got hugs and the others clinging to him like there was no tomorrow, and he laughed and let them, but deep down he felt a soft warmth fill his heart.

Felix and Minho, specially, didn’t let go of him the whole day. Jisung didn’t stay far behind either, trailing after them all the time and getting as many cuddles as he could.

“Why didn’t you tell us, hyung?”

Asked Felix, at one point. It was only the two of them, Minho and Jisung at the moment. Chan sighed.

“I didn’t want to admit it had come back. Not even to myself.”

He explained. Felix pouted.

“Hyung, you need to take care of yourself. Who will take care of Sungie if you die?”

Minho snorted and Felix smiled, proud of himself even after Jisung yelled out a ‘hey’ and kicked Felix on the shin. Chan just chuckled.

“I guess you’re right. Someone needs to take care of the baby.”

Minho and Felix laughed again and Jisung pouted.

“Hyung~”

He whined. Chan laughed and pinched his cheeks, sighing happily at having all three of them right where he could see them. He knew this wasn’t a permanent solution, and he would have to go see the psychologist their manager had arranged for him. But for now it was enough.

 

It wasn’t easy at first. Jisung, Felix, Minho and Woojin had to go with him to the first few sessions with the psychologist, even if they stayed outside the room. The psychologist allowed the door to be left open, and Chan sat where he could see the other boys.

During practice and other schedules, Woojin was the one who helped Chan. He held the leader’s hand whenever he noticed his anxiousness, and helped Chan time his breathing. Chan was glad. Woojin’s hand was always warm on his, and his voice had a soothing effect on Chan.

None of the boys ever complained about the calls their got out of nowhere, when Chan’s anxiety got the best of him and he absolutely needed to hear their voices. He was thankful for that too. He was thankful for the people he’d found.

Slowly, he got better. He worked through his issue, and the others were nothing but sweet when helping him. They always told him where they were going, and did his exercises with him, such as leaving for short periods of time at first, or staying close, but somewhere where he couldn’t see them.

 

One night, when Chan had his anxiety almost fully under control, the leader nudged Woojin and lay down next to him on his bed. Woojin immediately made space for him and wrapped his arms around Chan.

“Are you feeling anxious?”

He asked. Chan sleepily shook his head.

“Just wanted to sleep with you.”

He mumbled. He could feel Woojin smiling.

“Aigo, our cute leader.”

Chan chuckled and playfully hit the older.

“Shut up, Wooj.”

Woojin laughed, his breath hitting Chan’s cheek and making the younger smile.

“Good night, Channie. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Chan smiled as he fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a bit of trouble with this, because Jisung has been making me way too soft and I want to squish him all the time, so I often get side tracked when I'm writing SK stuff lol.
> 
> Also: I don't know much about separation anxiety and such. So if something is inaccurate or wrong please let me know and I'll try to fix it.
> 
> Anyways, comments are appreciated, I like to know what you guys think ^.^


End file.
